Learning lessons from those who came before us drives human progress in medicine, science, art and politics. Why should this be any different for class and charm?
Today there is a resurgence of discussion about classiness; women are looking for more than baggy pants, backward caps and too much hair gel. Why be a mess, when you can channel your inner legend by looking to the stars of yesterday for inspiration? These men left an impression in the hearts and minds of people across the globe, and their classic traits still ring true half a century(or more) later.
Let's take a glance back at six of the great characters from a golden era of charisma.
Elvis's signature leg shake came to represent a fundamental attitude of self-confidence and showmanship that few others can claim. Ironically enough, it's said that this habit first started largely from his nervousness of playing in front of large crowds. After seeing the crowd's reaction, Elvis parlayed this nervous tick into a trademark of swagger that drove the ladies wild.
Elvis brought a kind of raw energy to his performances that was undeniably captivating. Every man can learn a lot from Elvis's energy, attitude and showmanship that brought him his amazing fame.
As a leader of the Rat Pack, Dean Martin was about as cool and classy as they came. He was an enormously successful actor, comedian and singer. However, it wasn't always that way. Martin seemed destined to remain just another nightclub singer/comedian until he teamed up with comic Jerry Lewis. Together, the two comic duo, "Martin and Lewis" gained a radio series on NBC that let Martin move from New York to LA, where he would shortly break into the world of film. Later in his career, Martin would team up with Frank Sinatra and others to form The Rat Pack.
By himself, Dean Martin may only have been a blip on the radar of American pop culture, instead of the classy icon he is known as today. Identifying and teaming up with other classy individuals is the way to go.
As the first African American man to play openly in the MLB, Jackie Robinson knew what it was like to face opposition. He was instrumental in bringing an end to racial segregation in professional baseball. Jackie Robinson actively pursued segregation issues off the field as well, and was posthumously awarded the Presidential Medal of Freedom and the Congressional Gold Medal for his efforts.
Standing up for what's right not only shows strength of character, but also sets an example for others.
The life of the French Film Producer/Director, actor, tennis champ, water skiing pioneer and all-around playboy has always been shrouded in a certain 'je ne sais quoi.' D'Azur's lavish annual parties at the Festival de Cannes contrasted sharply with occasional bouts of reclusiveness. His alleged three year stay with the Yamamena tribe of Venezuela is one such example.
While it is important to show a good face in public, one should also know when to step out of the spotlight. Maintaining a degree of mystique is an essential component of charm.
Regardless of whether he's battling with international crime lords or preparing a cocktail, 007 is never afraid to shake things up. This MI6 agent manages to never loose his cool, partly thanks to some fancy gadgetry. Outfitted with a tricked-out Aston Martin, rocket-powered belt, and laser beam Rolex, any average Joe can look like a super hero.
While you may not have Agent Q to stock you up with the latest spy gear, having the classiest accessories and gadgets around can help you look and feel like a certain international man of mystery.
A young man from a wealthy and powerful family like the Kennedys could have easily avoided risking his life in the military during the second World War. In Fact, JFK volunteered for the U.S. Army, but was refused admission due to a back condition. Kennedy was eventually admitted to the Navy, where he would go on to earned the Navy and Marine Corps Medal while saving an injured sailor from drowning.
Going above and beyond the call of duty is truly a mark of class and charm, and is very rarely overlooked.
Written on 4/21/2010 by Brian Remmel. Brian writes about new technologies and the 'social economy' for Bubblicious. By day, he is a New Media Specialist at Futureworks, an award-winning social and digital media agency.
From the Greats: 6 Tactics to Increase your Class and Charm
Posted by SoMeOnE at 12:31 PM Labels: Communicating, Lifehacks, Relationships
The Golden Rules of Great Leadership
Posted by SoMeOnE at 10:29 PM Labels: Business, Leadership, Relationships
A leader is best when people barely know he exists, when his work is done, his aim fulfilled, they will say: we did it ourselves. ~Lao Tzu
Leadership isn’t just for CEOs, coaches and managers. Throughout your life, your ability to perform as a leader can make all the difference between an experience of success and ease, and a feeling of frustration and powerlessness.
Many of you are true leaders without knowing it! If you’re a parent, then you’re a leader. If you’re married, you’re a leader. If you have to teach a class or manage a family budget, you’re a leader.
Thousands of Books
have been written about leadership and management. Companies spend millions training their leadership teams, and rightly so – leadership in specific areas can be a skillful and demanding role. But, as with everything else in life, the key to it all is very simple. The golden rules of leadership can be expressed in many ways, and here are some of them and no, this is not an inclusive list - simply a handful of what I view as the most important.
- They are good role models
Great leaders lead by example. They don’t ask other people to do something they wouldn’t be prepared to do themselves. They model the kind of behavior they want to see in other people – risk taking, proactivity, self-reflection, honesty. - They empathize
A good leader will put herself in the other person’s shoes. She understands that nobody is trying to do a bad job, that everyone is doing what they think best. It might not be what the leader herself thinks is best, of course, but this recognition that there are other perspectives and a genuine willingness to understand another point of view sets good leaders apart. - They are flexible
There are usually many different ways to get a job done well, and a good leader will recognize this. He will seek the views of others and change his own ideas accordingly. A great leader is always learning from others, always adapting and ready to try something new. - They embrace contrast
Everyone is different, and a good leader will use this diversity to his advantage. Contrast and diversity leads to innovation. A poor leader will try to impose uniformity, but a good leader will encourage new kinds of thinking, originally and fresh perspectives. - They communicate
A good leaders doesn’t expect people to read her mind, and she knows that good communication is very difficult. It requires a lot of care and a lot of patience. She will spend time and energy trying to communicate in a genuine way. Meetings and conversations will be interactive and not just on person lecturing another. She will genuinely be open to what is said and will look under the surface to see what other people are really trying to say. - They give praise
There is always good stuff happening, and even when he has to make a criticism, the good leader will find something good to say first. He will always focus on the success, the good qualities, the things going right. He is positive and knows that the future is bright. - They trust people
I’m sure we’ve all worked with bosses who (sometimes literally) peer over your shoulder to see what you’re doing. A good boss will be clear about expectations and then let you get on with the job, giving support and encouragement when necessary. - They empower others
We all need to feel that we are able to make a difference, and a good leader recognizes this. She will not hold on too tightly, but will give away power, distributing it to others and so enabling individuals to learn and grow as they add value to the situation. - They have a light touch
Holding on too tight, being inflexible – these are sure ways to failure. A poor leader will try to control everything, but a great leader will know when to act and whan to leave well alone. Lao Tzu wrote, ‘Governing a great nation is like cooking a small fish - too much handling will spoil it.’
 | Written on 4/20/2010 by Mark Harrison. Mark Harrison writes about personal growth, communication, and increasing personal wealth. Check out his new book, Thirty Days to Change Your Life. |
How To Design Your Circle of Friends
Posted by SoMeOnE at 1:46 PM Labels: Happiness, How To, Relationships
There is a lot of talk about time management, career management, project management and even life management. Today, I am going to suggest to you the management of something which I think is very important and very much ignored: your circle of friends. Or better yet, the design of your circle of friends.
Think about it: every week, you spend quite a few hours with your friends. The proper circle of friends for you can be a lot more than a bunch of people you hang out with or tweet to. Having the right friends can mean:
- Very fun experiences together, you look forward to every time;
- A powerful connection, based on your core common points;
- A deep sense of respect and appreciation for each other;
- The ability to be comfortable, authentic and open with them;
- Knowing you have your back covered by great people.
These friends are usually not bad, but if you’re only building your circle of friends like this, it’s important to realize they may not be the best friends for you and in a way, you are wasting the potential for much better friendships. What you need to do is proactively build you circle of friend, following a couple of steps:
- Decide what you want
This is the crucial starting point: deciding the key traits you want your friends to have. This step allows you to filter the people you interact with and the time you dedicate to each one, to maximize the positive outcomes.
Pick up a pen and paper, and actually write down these traits, after you think about them really well. But make sure you don’t write too many traits; otherwise you’ll create such a strong filter you’ll end up with no circle of friends. - Get out there
Once you decide what kind of people you want to befriend, it’s time to go out and meet them. Start thinking about the kind of places and activities where you have the best chances of meeting people fitting your desired profile, and get involved.
If you like people who value self-improvement, go to personal development trainings. If you like people who are passionate and energetic, take a dancing class. If you like people who are fun and sociable, go to parties or sports bars. There are tons of opportunities out there. Pick the right ones, get out there and be sociable. - Say yes and no
Meeting new people and discovering some you enjoy interacting with is usually not enough to make new friends. You need to have more interactions with these people to continue getting to know each other and see where it goes. Take the initiative; ask people out for coffee or lunch, throw a party, talk on the phone if you like it, and so on.
At the same time, it’s important to cut down on the interactions with people who are already in your social circle and you realize they do not really fit the friend profile you’re looking for. Otherwise, especially if you also need a decent amount of alone time like me, you will have little time for finding and interacting with people you enjoy more.
 | Written on 4/10/2010 by Eduard Ezeanu. Eduard is 80% communication coach and 20% something more. He also writes advice about people skills and personal development on his blog, People Skills Decoded. You can follow him on Twitter at @eduardezeanu. |
The Hidden Business Lessons Of March Madness
Posted by SoMeOnE at 7:49 AM Labels: Business, Relationships
The NCAA basketball tournament is right around the corner, one of the most over-commercialized, bloated, melodramatic monstrosities on the sports calendar. Right? I mean, nothing shows the exploitation of the college “student-athlete” more than CBS’ billion-dollar baby. Right?
Wrong. For all the headaches and hype associated with the Field of 64, there are some important lessons the rest of the month can teach us. Between upsets and cutting down the net, keep these thoughts in your mind and think about how they relate to your life, career and even your relationships.
One of the first lessons of the tournament is getting in. Behind closed doors, the NCAA tournament committee decides who makes the field and who doesn’t. One of the key parts to their formula is the strength of your opponents. Think about that as you measure the successes of your business life. Have you built up your ego and by piling up easy victories? Do you know what it’s like to win hard, against someone just as smart or as talented as you, if not better? This is how the selection committees in our life (bosses, professors, recruiters) measure success. They are going to look at not just you, but who you beat. If you are cruising along with no challenges, who knows what you will do when you make it out of the first round?
For many students, the first round of the NCAA Tournament comes the same week as spring break, giving them a reason to pack up the car and take a road-trip for first-round games in Boise, Oklahoma City and Dayton. Just because you are a working person now doesn’t mean that you have to save all of your vacation up for the summer. You body needs to recharge every few months. Go ahead and take a few days, park it on your couch and watch the first two days of the tournament. Turn off your computer and your phone and watch the updates come in, late into the night.
Sure, it’s easy to root for the 16th-seeds of the world. Scrappy, small-school ballers who get everyone to cheer for them if they keep it close. But don’t make the mistake of always empathizing with the underdog. If you are doing business right, you will have smaller competitors looking to find your weakness and topple you. Don’t underestimate anyone who you may be squaring off with for a client or a contract. Stick with your strengths and don’t let up until the buzzer sounds – every time.
One-year wonders come and go these days in the NCAA Tournament. Kevin Durant spent a season at Texas, John Wall will be one-and-done this year at Kentucky. So if your school is in the field of 64, don’t fall too deeply in love with your superstar. Instead, root for the uniform, the colors and the tradition that make you a proud alum. The loyalty to those things are what unites everyone across the country who are tuned in to see your team tip off.
Two great plays you’ll see during March Madness are the buzzer-beating shot and the player diving out of bounds for a loose ball. How would you like to have members of your team at work who could deliver with everything on the line? Or someone who will throw their whole self into a project just to keep you from losing your momentum? You can’t teach those things, but you can look for the qualities when you decide who to surround yourself with at work.
It’s guaranteed that the person to win your basketball bracket pool isn’t going to be the office’s resident basketball expert. It may be a co-worker who picks the winners based on cute mascots or your friend who picks all the lower seeds or a rabid fanboy who thinks his school will win the title – and they do. Everyone has a system that works for them and sometimes they strike gold. Find your own system and don't rely on mimicking others success.
North Carolina and Oklahoma both had rosters filled with high school All-Americans this season. One thing they have in common? Neither is going to make the tournament. If your team is made up of a bunch of people who think they should be the star, no one is going to want to share the spot light. A team works best when everyone knows their roles. Who is your point guard? Who is your defender? Clearly defined positions, including a superstar, work best.
When you’re all finished with a huge undertaking, like crowning an NCAA champion, it always helps to reflect back on the emotions that everyone went through. That’s why CBS ends with “One Shining Moment”, the teary-eyed music video who shows the highs and lows of the entire tournament experiment. It gives even the most jaded of fan a chance to say – “hey, this is a great thing. And I’m glad I was a part of it.” Celebrate wins.
Written on 3/15/2010 by Mike Koehler. Mike Koehler is a public relations strategist and new media director at Schnake Turnbo Frank | PR. He works out of his offices in Oklahoma City and Tulsa, teaching businesses how to use the web. He spends his spare time with his wife and three kids. Read his blog at www.stfpr.com/newmedia.
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